Showing posts with label motivational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivational. Show all posts

Monday, 8 May 2017

The role of good or bad fatherhood in kids' life



Father figures are expected, from the very start of one’s life, to be wise and powerful. They are expected to solve our problems, to be with us when in need, accompany us to children park, tell us stories, protect us. They are judicious and kind, perhaps a little tough at times but always fair—but most importantly, we expect them to be always, on our side. 

To make fun of someone who has problems with their father, even after acknowledging their discomforting longing, is humiliating and rude. It’s completely alright for someone to desire a fatherly figure in their lives, especially, when in chaos and confusions. It’s utterly hurtful to want someone to protect us and fail at finding anyone at sight.

When does it start?


This notion of desiring a fatherly figure comes from our childhood—when we’re both young and immensely week, and need protection from everything that might hurt us. In our childhood, even a cat of a considerable size can kill us—things were mysterious when we were young, and often were outside of our control. To wish for a father in befalling situations is completely natural. The adult longing for a good father is a consequential emotion from not having a good father in the childhood. It’s a result of abandonment.

According to a study at Erikson University in 2009, a grown man evidently seems extremely impressive to a small child. For a child, a grown man knows everything; the capital of India, how to drive a bicycle, how to fight, how to catch a ball. They can lift you up with their immense power. They go to bed secretly late, and wake up earliest in the morning. They can swim and let you ride their back. Fathers, by their all difference, are beyond astonishing creature.

People with father problems, contrary to its paradox, are almost, always, the ones who didn’t have very good fathers when they were small. Maybe their fathers were incredibly strong, but at the same time cruel or maybe disinterested. Perhaps, they were busy, and weren’t around much or perhaps they left after a disturbing fight. Perhaps, they divorced their wives, or may be they died. This is what, in many surprising ways, incline us to some tricky behaviors. This lead us to develop absurd fantasies, irrelevant to our maturity level and skepticism, around the idea of male protection.
Are you battling with yourself and need some help? Contact us here.

Consequences


We, even after the years of failing and learning our lessons, all by ourselves—still remain like a young child we once were. In a way, we were not allowed to mature away from our unquenched fantasies of fathers. We still, secretly, desire someone to step in and take the role. We want someone else to make our big decisions, we want them to protect us, and be tough around us. We want them, in a certain mysterious way, to vanish our problems from our life.

No matter how independent and self-sufficient we act, at the end of the day, we want them to sort out our money problems, we expect them to get angry when anyone tries to hurt us, to be proud of us when we achieve something—to love us for who we are, and primarily, accept us. To fulfill this intrinsic desire, we look out for fathers in friendships, at work, and all the places we emotionally visit.

We all must, if our emotions allow, accept that the adulthood fantasy of fathers is not of a good father. As absurd as it may sound, a good father is the one who boldly and honestly accepts that he isn’t that powerful and cannot solve all our problems. They are conscious that they can’t magically save us from the countless dangers of this world, no matter how much they wish to. They are also honest about this, and tell us the truth as soon as we’re strong enough to face it. Out of love, they let us know that there are not perfect fathers and the best they can do is help us grow, in the best way possible.

What do we need?


We markedly don’t need just a father, we need a good father figure. Someone who could help us out of our father issues, someone who encourage us to talk, acknowledges our sufferings and fears, and deeply wants the best for us and isn’t reluctant to say so; but who at the same time, out of love, wants to help us come to terms with a messy and essentially a disappointing world. A man, who out of love, will encourage you to be independent and, specifically, not to fantasize that anyone, however outwardly imposing, can do the impossible for you. And, shamelessly deny that anyone, even for the love and hate, will always be there for you by your side.

Good fathers allow us to accept the truth that there are, in the end, no fathers; just an independent you—who eventually, by failing and learning, becomes someone else’s, good father. 
If you need some help with any ongoing issue in life, contact AK Mishra's Art of Success. Call us at -  +91 9990 107 766 
Do you think we have missed something that could help people with their father issues? Comment below and let us know.

Monday, 6 March 2017

How not to care what anyone thinks of you?

AK Mishra's Art of Success

One of our most prominent fears which haunt us when we socialize in this world and mingle with others—is that we may in our hearts be not interesting, rather boring. But the good news and fundamental truth too is that no one is ever truly boring. They are only in danger of coming across as such when they either fail to understand their deeper selves or don’t dare or know how to communicate with others.

There is simply no such thing as an inherently boring person or thing—is one of the great lessons of art. Many of the most satisfying artworks don’t feature rare elements, they are evidently about the ordinary, looked from a special perspective, with unusual sincerity and openness to varnished experience.

AK Mishra's Art of Success

For example—look at the painting of Whistler’s Mother by James McNeill. It’s a simple depiction of artist’s mother sitting on a wooden chair against a gray wall. Outwardly the scene in the painting is utterly simple and could initially appear to be deeply unpromising material for a painting. Yet, like any great artist, McNeill knew how to interrogate his own perceptions—in a fresh, clear, underivative manner and translated them accurately into his medium—knitting a small masterpiece out of the thread of everyday life. And just as there’s no such thing as a boring everyday life, so too there could be no such thing as an innately boring person.

Humans witnessed in its essence with honesty and without artifice is always interesting.

When we call a person boring—we’re just pointing to someone who doesn’t have the courage for concentration to tell us what it’s like to be them. By contrast, we invariably prove compelling when we succeed in saying how and what we truly desire, envy, regret mourn or dream. In a simpler form if anyone recuperates the real data on what it’s like to exist is guaranteed to have material with which one can captivate others.

An interesting person isn’t always someone with whom obviously and outwardly interesting things have happened: like someone who travelled the world or met importance dignitaries, nor someone who talks about the weighty themes of culture, history or science. On the contrast, an interesting person is someone who can give us faithful accounts, drama, and strangeness of being alive.

Then, what are some of the elements that get in the way of is being as interesting as we in fact are;

Our Loss of Faith
We feel boring and exhibit the same feeling when there is a lack of faith. We often believe that it really could be feelings that would stand the best chance of interesting others. When we tell an anecdote, we majorly concentrate on giving the outward details—like about the weather, people who were involved, what time was it—rather than maintaining courage to report the layer of feelings, beneath the surface—the intricate facts which flashes the moment of guilt, the sudden sexual attraction, the humiliating sulk, that strange euphoria at the middle of the night, every small detail. We should acknowledge that our neglect is not just an oversight, but it could be a deliberate strategy to mold our ideas of dignity and normality. We lack the nerve to look more closely within.
For say, most five-years-old are far less boring than most 45-years old. What’s interesting is that kids don’t necessarily have exciting feelings, far from it, but their sheer frankness and uncensored version of their feelings are what makes their insights interesting.

Our inner-struggle to appear normal
We all feel boring not by our nature—so much as by a fateful will that begins its effect in teenage years to appear normal, even when we’re honest about our feelings. We may still prove boring because we don’t know them as well as we should, so we get stuck at the level of insisting on an emotion rather than explaining it. Any situation is extremely exciting, awful or beautiful, but not to be able to provide those around us with any of the sorts of related details and examples that would help them understand why. We can end up boring not so much because we don’t want to share our lives, as because we don’t yet know them well enough to do so.

Luckily, the gift of being interesting is not an exceptional talent. It requires only direction, honesty and focus. The person we call fascinating is someone alive to what we all deeply want from social intercourses, which is an uncensored glimpse of what the brief waking dream called life feels like.  Through the eyes of another person and reassurance, we are not entirely alone with all that feels most puzzling, strange and strong within us.




Monday, 30 January 2017

5 MORNING ROUTINES TO WIN THE DAY




Tim Ferris, author of ‘the 4-hour Workweek’, has his 5 favorite morning hacks to maximize his productivity. As per Tim, positive momentum and a distraction-less start of your day don't come naturally, rather it’s manually earned every day by following a strict routine. After Interviewing hundreds of ultra-successful people, from the famous chess prodigies to athletes to billionaires – he has picked the common denominator out of all and made a list of his top 5 routines.

Out of his top five routines, he claims that even if he gets to three routines per morning – he wins. And as the famous saying goes, “if you win the morning, you win the day”.

Tim Ferris is an efficient all-rounder – he fluently speaks 5 languages, is a national Chinese kickboxing champion, holds a world record in Tango and is a best-selling author. That’s a big list for a single man – and getting demotivated from a long list of someone else’s achievement is not the point. Rather, it is a proof that the only thing that’s stopping us from succeeding in any field is our mental limitations, and Tim has a way out.

There is a lot we can learn from Tim, and his belief that single individual can achieve greatness, and with a right set of mind – can reach the pinnacle of his field. So, let’s get started.

Top 5 Morning routines

5. Make your bed


It might sound like an unimportant ritual, but it gives one a sense of control at the very beginning of the day. It’s a form of strategy that helps you to deal the intangibles and curveballs that life throws at you. No matter how complex your day is planned ahead – you can always make your bed and straighten at least one thing.

4. Meditate


He states, ‘more than 80% of the world class performers I’ve interviewed practice one form or the other of mindfulness’. As per Tim, there are few who go to Headspace, few who opt for guided meditation, and others who stick to traditional meditation techniques.   

3. Do Pushups


Tim says, doing any kind of physical exercise first thing in the morning helps you to stay prime, and wake your complete body at a go. He prefers to do the pushups, but he recommends any kind of exercise – sit-ups, lunges, and squats. Doing so quiets ones’ mental chatter and effects the mood dramatically.  

2.  Hydrate yourself


You need to water yourself and take out the dryness of the entire last night. He recommends titanium tea which is one teaspoon of turmeric, some ginger shaving and a teaspoon each of black tea and dragon tea. He recommends it for excellent cognition and weight loss. He personally prefers it with a glass of cold water, but even warm water would do the same trick.   

1. Write a Journal


The most important trick in his list is to write a journal for whatever is going in your head. You can plan your day or prioritize things or just express gratitude for the various labels in your life. When Tim writes his journal, he broadly considers four categories; opportunity for the day, some small goals, yesterday’s achievements and relationships.  

Friday, 27 January 2017

Ways to shift your state of mind and become more confident in minutes



At some point or another, we all must have struggled with our self-esteem. Since none of us are immune to this feeling of insecurity and self-doubts, it becomes even harder to overcome. This could be situational, for eg. Some people find themselves insecure and less confident while socializing with new or unknown people, or at public speaking, but could be very confident around the people they know. Some introverted people often feel shy or less confident partying, dancing, singing; while some may feel lesser confident trying something new at the workplace. But we can certainly give ourselves a quick boost in such situations by following such simple confidence boosting techniques.

1.    Smile

Undoubtedly our physiology greatly influences our self-awareness and emotions. Moreover, it has scientifically proven fact that smile not only makes us more attractive but also enhance our mood, lowers blood pressure, relieves stress and helps us stay positive. Hence, begin your day with a smile, look at yourself in the mirror with a smiling face and make an effort to smile more often throughout the day; while talking to other people or greeting others. It will make you feel and look good and confident.

2.    Meditation

Find out a good Buddhist mindfulness guided meditation and try every day for 10 minutes. One can also use most simple and effective meditation technique; sitting straight with eyes closed chanting OM. This also helps you improve your self-awareness and drastically enhance your confidence level. 

3.    Improve your posture

Your body posture makes a lot of difference. So most importantly, improve you sitting and standing posture. Research shows those who sit straight are more likely to generate ideas, believe in their own thoughts as compared to those who sit hunched over the desk throughout the day. Moreover, standing straight also not only makes you feel and look confident but significantly improve your productivity level. While encountering yourself in a socially evaluative situation such as an interview or public speaking engagement, practice a day before to improvise your posture; stand straight in a power pose. And then after some time, look into your comfort level, in which posture you feel confident and comfortable while standing straight. The power pose will help raise your level of testosterone (the hormone of dominance) and lower your stress hormone (Cortisol) while making you feel more confident and bringing out your true self.

4.    Visualization

Visualization is undoubtedly an amazing tool universe has endowed to each one of us to bring our desires into an existence. By visualizing your success, whether acing an interview or finishing a task or a workout, you can indeed take yourself a step ahead towards your desired success. Although many spiritual leaders have already accepted it as a well-known fact, it has also scientifically proven that imaging an activity stimulates our nervous system and activates several same neural pathways in our brain as we actually experiencing the activity. By visualizing yourself overcoming the challenges, you can certainly help yourself be more confident, comfortable while dealing with the current challenges which seem more familiar.

5.    Embrace your feeling of Low Self-Esteem

Once you are done with developing a habit of visualization and meditation and correct posture, your next step is taking some time to embrace your feeling of low self-esteem. Yes, you read it right, EMBRACE YOUR LOW SELF-ESTEEM. Moments of doubts, situations where you encounter low self-esteem, feeling of unhappiness, discontentment are pretty important and required. They are imperative poisons that compel you to eliminate what you do not like and to bring a positive change in yourself. By suppressing your negative self, you’ll end up always moving a step away from your improvement and perfection. Begin recognizing your insecurities, and rather than improving your feeling of low self-esteem, start improvising your competence. Make yourself abler, learn what cause you low self-esteem, where are your lacking and improve those abilities; and you’ll gradually enhance your confidence level too.

6.    Embrace your failures

After learning the skills of accepting your weaknesses that cause self-doubts, reevaluate how you consider your failures. Failure is inescapable for each one of us. The one who tries will always fail too. In fact, our advancement in life depends upon our failures. Failures come as a challenges in your life to make you what you truly are; to bring out your true potential, to make you more patient, more experienced, more mature, wiser, more humble, more resilient, more creative, more grounded, and teaches you a lot about your true self, which your success can never  teach. When you focus on learnings you gain from your each failure, you take a step ahead towards your desired success and failures become just a part of your journey to your phenomenal triumph.

6.    Improve your surroundings


Lastly, to improve your confidence level, improve the context for it. Simply put, improve your social circle. A supportive social circle will always encourage you to move forward, and that encouragement truly plays a very vital role in boosting your confidence level and reaching your goal. Keep a distance with the people who discourage you for your dreams and spend more time with the people who believe in you.